ATTENTION! This is a Rotting Dead safety alert! *Warning* - The following shelters have been closed due to overwhelming zombie activity in the area: Midtown Civic Center/Tucson,AZ - Dearborne Athletic Center/Boulder,CO - Carlin Research Institute/Dover,DE - Maestro Convention Center/Miami,FL - Brady's Memorial Hospital/Lansing,MI - Kindgom Hospital/Castle Rock,ME - Greens Elementary/St. Louis,MO - Allied Mutual West/Minneapolis,MN - Sunrise Medical Ceter/Hendricks,NV - Glasgow Shiners Convention Center/Ennis,MT - Las Alemedas Civic Hall/San Antonio,TX - Harris County Hospital District/Houston,TX - Pallisades Community Center/Salt Lake City,UT - - - Bloggers are urged to remain in their homes and stay away from highly populated areas of the city. This message will repeat....

Friday, July 30, 2004

Bleeding Staples

Sometimes strange ideas enter the mind, okay for me it happens alot. Perhaps for people who tend to be creative (artists, writers, musicians, etc...) nothing is ever strange, only different. What the hell would happen if you were sitting in your office minding your own business, possibly watching a Cure video on your desktop or typing an e-mail to your favorite horror author, when all of a sudden your stapler attacked?

Unholy Office Supplies Batman!! You could run but would that be sufficient? Maybe. Suppose it followed you down the hall and shot out it's deadly hardware as it gave chase? I know what you are thinking, "It's a freakin' stapler, how fast could it move? How hard could those shots be? and It will eventaully run out of staples anyway." Wrong!! We are talking about an evil stapler here.

It WOULD indeed move fast and it's seemingly endless supply of staples would be fired at you with frightening speed and accuracy. You dodge them the best you can and grab a message board off of the wall to defend yourself thinking things will be okay once you get on the other side of a strong lockable door. But what waits on the other side? Dun-Tun-Dun!!!!
"Bleeding Staples: Nightmare on the 9th Floor" - not coming soon to a theatre near you.

Have a great weekend!

  • Today's Cure song is "Out of This World" from the Bloodflowers CD-(2000) This tune about escapism flows with dancing guitar riffs that bring to mind dreamy scenes.

"And I know we have to go, I realize we always have to turn away. Always have to go back to real lives, but real lives are why we stay for another dream..."



Blogger Chica said...

Speaking of staple day at work I was totally bored, so bored that I decided to see what stapling my finger would feel like.

I can say with certainty that a staple attack would not be fun.

Friday, July 30, 2004 12:32:00 PM  
Blogger zam said...

In response to the fine print:

Yes, but, how many net carbs does this blog contain?

And dude! I'm a huge Stephen King fan! I have an extensive collection of his work. As a matter of fact, I just started re-reading Insomnia. His short stories are my favorites, though.

Friday, July 30, 2004 3:16:00 PM  
Blogger Soleil said...

I love the zombie warning crawl. :) Very funny.

And I am supposed to tell you that my hubby just got a copy of Evil Dead: Fistful of Boomstick for the PS2. He's quite excited.

Saturday, July 31, 2004 5:21:00 PM  
Blogger LaVarious said...

Evil Staplers are an everyday occurance at my office. I want something real bizarre to happen, like an "Evil Turkey Baster", a "Soul Eating Cheese Grater", or possibly a "Beta-Vision Video Player who quietly hums Flock of Seagulls Songs"!!

Sunday, August 01, 2004 1:04:00 PM  
Blogger nicole said...

I think you better get to work on the movie soon. I could be a hit! And speaking of Staples....have you seen the latest Staples commercial with Alice Cooper? It cracks me up, but makes me a bit sad to see Alice Cooper in a Staples ad.

Monday, August 02, 2004 6:16:00 AM  

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