ATTENTION! This is a Rotting Dead safety alert! *Warning* - The following shelters have been closed due to overwhelming zombie activity in the area: Midtown Civic Center/Tucson,AZ - Dearborne Athletic Center/Boulder,CO - Carlin Research Institute/Dover,DE - Maestro Convention Center/Miami,FL - Brady's Memorial Hospital/Lansing,MI - Kindgom Hospital/Castle Rock,ME - Greens Elementary/St. Louis,MO - Allied Mutual West/Minneapolis,MN - Sunrise Medical Ceter/Hendricks,NV - Glasgow Shiners Convention Center/Ennis,MT - Las Alemedas Civic Hall/San Antonio,TX - Harris County Hospital District/Houston,TX - Pallisades Community Center/Salt Lake City,UT - - - Bloggers are urged to remain in their homes and stay away from highly populated areas of the city. This message will repeat....

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Holiday Horrors!

Okay so here we come to the holidays. Joyous, fun-filled, merry & bright, but there is always a dark side... and Christmas time is no different. As you string up those colorful lights and sprinkle the shiny tinsel on the tree, remember that even when sleigh bells ring, horror can come a callin'

Let's start things off with an early movie from 1974. "Black Christmas" offers a murder fest of sorority sisters getting killed during Christmas break. 1980 brought us "Christmas Evil" where a boy is traumatized by seeing his Mama have sex with Santa. He grows up to be a pychotic man obsessed with the holiday, keeping track of the naughty and nice.

In 1984, the whole idea of Christmas Horror Movies takes off. It is started by the now classic "Silent Night, Deadly Night" which spawned 4 sequels(up through 1992). None are as good as the original which features a teenager scarred by the death of his parents on Christmas day. During this year there was also a British film titled "Don't Open Till Christmas" released to horrify yule tide goers with a tale of a psychopath running loose in London during the holiday. 1984 also saw the release of "Gremlins". Not quite horror but Christmas themed and a few gruesome deaths (albeit not human).

"Elves" hit the theatres in 1990. Here we have a young woman discovers that she is the focus of an evil nazi experiment involving selective breeding and summoned elves. And hey, where else will you find multiple stab wounds to the groin on Christmas?! "Santa Claws" brought us a young man who finds his divorced mother having sex with a man in a Santa Clause hat and shoots them both dead. Years later, now thinking he is Santa Clause, the man develops an obsession with an erotic horror film star named Raven and begins stalking her, oh happy holiday memories from 1996.

The next year, "Jack Frost" hit the video shelves. A serial killer is genetically mutated in car wreck on the way to his execution. After which, he becomes a murdering snowman hell-bent on revenge for the sheriff who caught him. Terribly done but a great laugh for your holiday horror fix. On to 2001, when we were treated to "Christmas Season Massacre". Tommy is a loser. He wears a pirate eye-patch, a Christmas gift he was given as a child. It is a symbol of the humiliation Tommy endured in high school. Becoming a bloodthirsty maniac over the years, he has slaughtered all but six of his previous tormentors. Now, these six former schoolmates unite to end Tommy's reign of terror. Will they put Tommy six feet under before the new year?

Speaking of New Year's, there are at least 2 good horror movies to finish out the year with a scream. "New Year's Evil" from 1980 where during a New Year's Eve celebration, a punk-rock singer gets a phone call saying that when New Year's strikes in each time zone, someone will be murdered--and she will be the last one. And in "Bloody New Year" from 1987, five shipwrecked teenagers take refuge in an island hotel that is decorated for New Years. The problem is, it's early summer, and soon enough, even the walls themselves are striking out against them.

Well even if you don't watch anything scary for the holidays, remember to have fun. Enjoy time with family and friends. Merry Christmas everyone!!

"Her opening so well prepared
a nervous smile
i couldn't take my eyes from her
she whispered
"can i use some of your lipstick?"